January 2011
75 posts
Nothing quite as bad as somehow deleting every contact out of your phone (still not sure how I did that one), then having the backup assistant not work, then having the backup assistant basically ask you “what contacts?”, to finally having the contacts magically reappear in the backup assistant and finally getting re-settled on my phone.
I was a fucking mess there for a moment...
I am being the best wingman ever to my straight friend. I’m really good at it.
So awesome
So I’m in Philly for my grandmoms 85th birthday. Got to spend the evening hangin with my cousins. Then I spent the late night chatting with my grandmom until 130am!
I didn’t win. but I did c
Overheard
Fingers crossed, legs high ….
playing blingo again. I need another boogie board.
A children's book that hopefully isn't about...
How in the hell am I expected to do my job when you schedule me in meetings all fucking day?!?!?!?!
Could you Puh-LEASE explain that to me?
chloesanchez:
Holy shit. Did you guys forget...
Anonymous asked: Are you doing okay?
I’m driving to DC in a few hours to have dinner with a friend who’s in town from San Fran and I’m pretty sure I’ll be sleeping at some point during the drive. I’m betting I make it there fine, it’s the return trip that concerns me.
Need.To.Find.Time.To.Nap.
There is no time. Crap.Poop.Damn.
This happened near a friends house …. somebody was DRUNK.
There's this guy, and he makes me smile.
Home is wherever I’m with you ……
Overhead
when you want it, take it out of my hand and put it in your hand.
Whelp, nothing like unintentionally hurting a good friends feelings …. that sux
Nothing like being ignored by a server when you want to order food. That shit pisses me the fuck off!! Who the fuck do you think you are? You want tips bitch?? Then provide some fucking service. Not the hardest concept to grasp.
I’m happy to tip, and I do get you aren’t a mind reader, but when the group orders food make sure you check with everyone before you walk away and ignore...
Tonight's Story
More appropriately entitled: How I Ran from the Cops Again ………
To sum it up, they don’t drive as well as I do. Don’t try to pull me over when I’m going 70 in a 55. I will only drive faster, you are at a dead stop. You cannot catch me, especially when I accelerate to 105…. think about it.
I am only more amused when I call my police friends, tell them...
Anonymous asked: I am still waiting for those naked pictures ;-)
The guy next to me just ordered an English Style Bitter … aren’t we just calling those ESB’s??
I think my neighbour is trying to tell me...
He just played “I’m Coming Out” 8 times in a row …..
Anonymous asked: Please post naked pictures of yourself!
Anonymous asked: Please post naked pictures of yourself!
Could I please have one more meeting?!?!?! Just...
I’ll get y’all another pic after this meeting I have to attend. I’m not sure everyone here appreciates my sense of humor.
that awkward moment when people think I'm...
forcedpriority:
runmartinrun:
writtenmemory4:
feministslut:
freshfeminism:
insertcreativetitle:
erkerk:
spreoccupied:
Aw who am I kidding. That doesn’t happen often.
all the time.
Thank you Saturday
Soooo, I have just returned from my favorite gay bar, which happens to be a lesbian bar in Richmond. I had a blast, my straight friends come out and danced and I get to see the lesbian folk and everything. It’s always a good time, I mean honestly, what else would I want, fun is what I crave.
What made tonight extra special, was the two young twenty-somethings who were fighting over me...
WTF …. who do I have to blow to get a team to win? I’m 0-4 so far. I hope Sunday doesn’t fuck me this hard …..
I just got mistaken for a tall, fat, bald man. Have you motherfuckers seen me? Tall, full head of hair, slim, beard …. should I go on??
I just want Baltimore to win. And I’m ready to hit Babes for more drinking and much dancing.
Overheard
A: I got in using the back door program. It's the way to do it.
Me: ...........
A: Go ahead and laugh, I'll wait.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA
Holy Shit
I just remembered that I won a Batman boogie board at Blingo last night!! That’s right, its ok to be jealous. (pix to come later)
WatchThis is so wrong …… who thinks of shit like this????
Priceless
Sooo, we have this high maintenance bitch at work who has to be the most narcicistic person I know. She has changed her name numerous times (which is a whole other post). She recently added “Hohenstaufen” to her name. I simply call her Huffenpuff. However I just learned that one of my coworkers remembers her new last name as “Ho ain’t stoppin”. Hilarious because it...
And Mom is back home resting ... YAY